It´s not what happens that makes your life flow, or not – it´s how you respond that counts!
Have you ever wondered why we act differently to others? Some people seem to attract challenges at every twist and turn in life, yet others seem to drift through and appear to come up smelling of roses, as the saying goes, time and time again.
Why is this?
Well, some people rise and thrive in certain situations whereas others break into a cold sweat and even breakdown when confronted by an event outside of their comfort zone.
How we behave depends upon our personality style, our levels of emotional intelligence and positivity and of course, our life experiences – or Lifeshocks, the name of the very helpful book written by the late Sophie Sabbage.
As we progress through life, our temperament starts off by becoming a product of those around us. Sadly, some people never truly knowing who they are. They remain wedded to the early conditioning from those around them and even try cosmetic surgery and other ways to feel better about themselves. No wonder we have so much focus on mental health these days.
In our early years – psychologists all agree that up to the age of around seven or eight, is when the lid goes on. Up to this point we are led by the opinions, values and beliefs of our care givers, parents, wider family, and friends.
I am held up as a shining inspiration, by some, regarding how I have managed my life shocks. Conversely, I have been scolded for being a narcissist by others who find my resilient DISC behaviour style too strong for them.
Although I detested school, I´ve become a perpetual scholar since leaving home at the age of 19 when I first married. Unaware at that time of my high level of EQ, I´ve always found it easy to liaise with people of all characters and ages.
In the 1990s I enjoyed the privilege of being personally trained by the late great Bob Proctor. Bob Proctor was one of the first celebrity star giants who spent his life studying the key principles within the famous book Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. I also learned heaps from listening to educational tapes and CDs in the car wherever I travelled. I joined Peter Thompson and became a founder member of one of his personal development clubs. I taught the lessons I learned from these gentlemen and others to teenage students for many years alongside my corporate roles, because at school we are not taught how to deal with life.
During 2022, I embarked upon another personal development training and educational programme developed by coach Shirzad Chamine. The topic this time was Positive Intelligence, also known as PQ.
The reason I signed up to the intensive training was because I wanted some more vocabulary and a way to explain to people how they too can become happier in life and sail through, regardless of what curved balls are thrown into their life.
What is IQ, EQ and PQ?
IQ, or intelligence quotient, is a measure of how clever somebody is. The Mensa organisation assess intelligence.
EQ, or emotional quotient, is a measure of how emotionally intelligent, compassionate, or understanding of others with different behaviours a person is.
PQ, or positive quotient, is a measure of how strong positivity features within the life of an individual.
Everyone is different. We are all special and have remarkable gifts if only we were assured of this as children!
How you respond to Lifeshocks and how you manage your organisation, or your career will depend significantly upon your levels of EQ, PQ and your natural DISC behaviour profile.
More on these areas in future articles
To learn more about EQ I recommend the work of Professor Daniel Goleman, Harvard University. https://www.danielgoleman.info/
To learn about PQ go to https://www.positiveintelligence.com/
Elaine Godley MBA, O.A. Dip (Psych) is a multi-award-winning Health and Wellbeing Mentor and DISC Behaviour Specialist.
Elaine supports legal firms and accountancy practices to improve gross margin through increased team effectiveness, health, and wellbeing. https://linktr.ee/ElaineGodley